crumble

   Crumble.  Not a word you hear everyday, so coming across the word three times on the same day caught my attention, caused me to stop and wonder, "What's crumbling in my life?"  It sort of has a negative connotation. "Crumble".  Falling apart.  Deteriorating.  Failure.  That's what first came to mind.

   But then I realized it isn't necessarily an entirely negative word.  What's crumbling?  My old way of thinking, of relating to God.  My long-held doubts and deep-seated wounds -- these are slowly but steadily crumbling.

   And why? I think mainly because on January 1st of this year I made a decision to read through the Bible, a daily journey that's taking me deeper into the mind and heart of God, though this side of heaven it's a mere scratch on the surface of His infinite glory, grace and love.  It's in this Book, this supernatural, living, breathing, powerful Book, that I read of, and meet with, a God who creates, and calls, and covenants with, people.

   People not unlike me.  Imperfect.  Doubters.  Liars.  Lusters.  Scaredy cats.  Sinners.

   But God does it anyway.  He makes the first move, and the next move, and He promises to make the last move.  Always, it's His move.  And I can't help but respond to this Jesus.  It's His love that's captured my heart and shaken my 35-year old foundation to its very core.

  I've started to not believe that God is distant and un-interested in me.  I've started to not believe that His good, pleasing and perfect plan for my life somehow fell through the cracks.  And I've started to not believe that God isn't going to come through and finish the good work He's begun in me.

   The walls I built in my unbelief and pain, they are a-crumblin'.  I don't know when or how it's all going to come together, His plan.  But that's where faith like that of father Abraham kicks in.  Though his body was as good as dead, from him were born as many as the stars in the sky, innumerable as the sand.

   So I'm letting this cookie crumble.  I'm in good hands.

I came as I was and You accepted me

   My lack of understanding who You truly are will distance me and lead me to sin and rebellion.  I can approach boldly.  Because of the thorns, the nails, the Blood.  The veil has been torn, from top to bottom.  I think of the woman who anointed You and kissed Your feet...the woman who bled for over a decade...the Roman centurion with a dying servant...bold, blind Bartimaeus.  You did not cast me away--even when I thought I could approach You in my own righteousness.  Your Spirit led me to Truth.  Though I was wrong, you answered my knocking.  You saved me.  So I come.  I approach.  I worship You in Spirit and Truth.

References:
Woman who kissed Jesus' feet: Luke 7:36-50
Bleeding woman: Luke 8:43-48
Roman centurion: Luke 7:1-10
Blind Bartimaeus: Mark 10:46-52

"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth..." (John 16:13)

"...those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them." (John 6:37)

"For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth." (John 4:24)

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.'" (Matthew 11:28)

Show Me Your Glory / Prince of Egypt

I edited this together one day after hearing 

"Show Me Your Glory" by Third Day on the radio.  

I cut it with scenes from the movie, The Prince of Egypt.

I hope it's an encouragement and blessing to you

as you're reminded of God's great power to save.

lesson from a ghost town

Sometimes all I can see is the brokenness...

and then I'm invited to look at things

from a different perspective...

And when I choose to look

at the bigger picture...

I find purpose in the design.

thoughts: the universe and His love

It's a striking truth to behold: His great sacrifice was not for my intentional, obvious sins alone, but for the secret trespasses as well. The hidden ones of which I go about unaware, until the curtain is pulled back, just a little, and I catch sight of the ugliness He bled for. I cringe and shudder and my soul races for cover...until I am reminded the debt has been paid.

I wonder if He created all that I can see, and cannot see, for as far as the scientific eye can see, this mega universe that our finite minds struggle to comprehend, merely to show how great His unconditional love is, the depth of His mercy and grace. Because we would one day hear, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him,” and because mankind would one day realize the unreachable end and vast extent of its universe, He created it so.

If it were humanly possible to travel to the ends of our universe, if we could go hither and thither, I suppose it would be possible to know the limits of His love. But it’s not possible, thus it’s quite impossible that I shall ever exhaust His love for me.

Jesus is his homeboy

Jesus Van man stands by his Man

With toy soldier suit and marching band hat

Come rain or shine, hell or high water

Jesus Van man stands by his Man

happy birthday to my boss

A hummingbird once decided to make her nest on a brach just outside my office window. Days, weeks, months passed as I anxiously waited for baby hummingbirds to appear. But it was not to be, she moved on.

Her nest serves as a reminder to me that we're here on this earth for just a season. It may be a long season, it may be a short one, but it's the quality, not the quantity, that matters--it's the profound lasting impression one leaves upon others that counts. Today I celebrate John Finn, who turns 72. For his positive influence, I am truly grateful.